according to popular film opinion , a film’s greatness is determined by time .
take for example ” casablanca . ”
great film , even today .
it’s still as powerful as it was when it came out and still as romantic and tragic .
another example would be ” star wars , ” which had a very , very healthy box office gross despite the fact that we had all seen it about 3 billion times before .
but as i rewatched ” independence day ” when it came out on video after being the number one hit of 1996 , i kinda felt like it wasn’t as cool as when i had first seen it .
i had liked it when i saw it the first time ( * * * was my original view ) and basically saw it as a good ” escape film . ”
but when i rewatched it , i felt cheated .
thus , the curse of the ” event film . ”
” independence day ” is like that kid who come out of nowhere and makes everybody happy at once ( except for a couple kids – the critics , in this situation ) .
but after a while , this kid becomes annoying and you just wait for the next one .
well , this kid is the ” event film ” in my little analogy .
and when i rewatched ” independence day , ” not only did it not look cooler at all on the big screen , but i felt insulted the whole time .
there are too many gaping craters in the plot and you just aren’t sure if it’s comedy or hokey drama .
one scene , you’ll see a hilariously nebbish scene between jeff goldblum and judd hirsch ; the next you’ll see a bunch of military uptight guys walking around , saying corny lines .
the worst is a scene between brent spiner and bill pullman where spiner is sayinig something innocently funny but is barked like a junkyard dog by bill pullman who gives him the most unitentionally funniest speech since the end of ” glen or glenda ? ”
now this annoying kid’s problem is that in the process of trying to make everyone like him all at once , he shows he has no balls .
and ” independence day ” has no balls .
it plays it safe everywhere .
it throws in a ton of action that is borrowed from other superior films .
the chase scene between the alien ship and will smith is straight out of ” star wars . ”
i mean , isn’t that devil’s den ?
and the aliens are about as anticlimactic as demi moore’s breasts in ” striptease . ”
they’re these octopus men , boring freaking octopus men .
i mean , come on .
the aliens in ” 2001 ” were more interesting and you didn’t even see them !
basically the plot is straight from a b-movie from the 50s : aliens come to earth and we wonder if they’re hostile or peaceful .
okay , it’s an interesting topic , but it’s not handled greatly .
now they aren’t and somehow a computer geek , jeff goldblum , figure out they’re using our satellites as a countdown to destruction .
yep .
these aliens are not only heavily armed , they’re stupid too .
they also use the same kind of computer as we do , but that comes about later .
the president ( bill pullman ) , who’s under attack for being a wimp , decides this would be a nice time to be belligerent , and he decides he’ll stay in the white house which the aliens have covered .
i don’t care if it’s bob freaking dole in the white house , get him out of there .
i don’t care if you have to inject him with sodium pentathol , just get him out of there .
later on , he’s stupid and wants to fly in the attack on a big alien ship .
i think it’s time for impeachment for this guy .
he’s more senile than reagan on pot .
then there’s a cocky pilot ( will smith ) who is the only person to survive the counter-attack on the second day and becomes moses in leading his children to the elusive area 51 ( the film’s only sign of being brave ) .
his girlfriend’s a stripper sharing a subplot with ” striptease ” in that she has to do it for her son .
come on , she has a fighter pilot boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance .
i think she can quit that job and get a more respectable job at long john silvers .
she’s also the few , the proud , the lucky to survive the igniting of l . a . ( as well as her dog , who narrowly survives ) .
there are some bright spots .
they tossed in enough old film homages to keep me laughing .
the best one is when jeff goldblum ( nicely named david ) turns on his computer and a picture of hal comes up and says , ” good morning , dave . ”
and they even played r . e . m . ‘s
” it’s the end of the world as we know it ( and i feel fine ) at the beginning .
and judd hirsch steals the film by actually acting great ( he’s a stereotype , but i just loved the man anyway ) .
but there are no real subtle comic moments .
will gets way too many one-liners and he has no one to play off of ( execept jeff towards the end , and the two do great ) .
as i said , this film has no balls .
it is just aiming for a crowd pleaser and that’s what it is .
but after a couple months , we all move on to the next ” event ” film while intaking little films and a couple indy ones for good measure .
but at least the indy ones last for a lifetime .
this one’s short on batteries .