You have allowed your ex to control you and how you are living your life. You have to stop beating your self up and take action for you. Get active or involved in the things that interest you.. Your depression is the reason for you being over weight. You are trying to eat away your problems. Stop right now and start loving your self. If you dont love you how can you expect anybody to love you? Get your self on a well balanced diet and a good exercise program. I take it you are not actively involved in a relation ship, or no involvement with friends. Get out and start doing things you will start to feel a lot better. You will begin to look as though you just stepped of the cover of a magazine. Get busy for you.