i’m going to start this review off with a hypothetical question .
let’s say you’ve just been in a car accident , and the driver of the other vehicle is unconscious .
your friends have left to go get help , and you’re waiting to see if the victim wakes up .
a tow-truck comes along , and the driver hops out of the truck to see what’s going on .
he then proceeds to kill the unconscious victim by snapping his neck .
do you :
a ) run away screaming for your life , staying away from the main road ,
b ) run away ( but not too fast ) and stay on the main road even when the madman in the truck starts following you , * stop * to catch your breath , try to negotiate with the psycho , and when that fails , start running away again , all the while * staying on the main road * ?
if you answered ” a ” , you are far more intelligent than the screenwriter of ” texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation ” and will likely hate this movie .
however , if you answered ” b ” , prepare to enjoy a film made with idiots like you in mind !
” texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation ” is being called a sequel , but it’s really more of a remake of the original .
there’s a few changes here and there , but it’s essentially the same ( even the infamous ” meathook ” scene has been re-created . )
the story opens with four teenagers hitting the road on the night of their prom , and somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere .
needless to say , they soon encounter leatherface and his nutty family .
much carnage ensues .
to call this movie inept would be putting it mildly .
in addition to the laughably idiotic situation i mentioned in my hypothetical question , there is a moment towards the end of the film where one of the baddies is killed by an airplane that literally comes out of nowhere .
it just swoops down and kills him with its wheel .
no explantion is given as to who was flying it or why he/she is going around killing people with the planes wheel .
the dialogue is even more atrocious .
zellwegger , who is kidnapped by ” the family ” early on , keeps trying to have normal conversations with these people .
when you’re surrounded by maniacs wielding chainsaws and dead corpses , i would think that rationality would go out the window .
speaking of going out the window , there is a scene in which zellwegger jumps out a window .
apparently , the stunt double had a little trouble , because she visibly gets stuck in the window .
the director quickly cuts to a wide shot where the stunt double * doesn’t * get caught in the window .
this was one of many glaring inconsistencies .
there are so many , in fact , that if i were to name them all , this review would be several pages long .
the only reason i am giving this movie one star instead of no stars is because of matthew mcconaughey .
he plays a member of ” the family ” with a hydraulic leg ( home-made , i might add ) and is so completely over-the-top , you can’t help but be amazed by his performance .
he obviously had a lot of fun with this part , and it really shows .
he makes jack nicholson’s portrayal of the psychotic inn keeper in ” the shining ” look restrained in comparison .
for a horror movie , ” texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation ” contains surprisingly little gore .
in fact , in contains none .
there’s a little blood here and there , but that’s as far as it goes .
which leads me to believe that the budget must have been * astonishingly * low , and it shows .
everything about the movie looks cheap , from the sets to the costumes .
especially leatherface .
once frightening and nightmare inducing , he’s now as terrifying as dame edna .
do yourself a favor and take a pass at this remake .
check out the far superior original instead .