have you ever been in an automobile accident where you’ve miraculously walked away with only a few scratches , yet the car has been obliterated into an unrecognizable , mangled wreck ?
well , that has never actually happened to me and i hope that none of us will ever experience this situation .
but after watching this inane exercise of a movie , i certainly feel that i’ve miraculously walked away unscathed after a two-hour ride that mercilessly careens back and forth before finally plummeting into an icy pond .
oddly , `eye of the beholder , ‘ which is a psychological-romance-thriller , starts off promisingly enough when the opening sequence introduces us to a british intelligence agent , called the eye ( ewan mcgregor ) , working in washington dc .
in the humorous opening scene , he eyes a top lawyer across the street in his office with his pants down .
using an array of high-tech surveillance and communications equipment , he proceeds to transmit pictures of the bared lawyer to pc screens and fax machines in his office .
the law firm’s employees get a good chuckle .
the audience gets a good chuckle .
the eye is later given an assignment where he encounters a beautiful woman ( ashley judd ) .
there is something compelling about this mysterious woman .
despite her glamorous looks , however , we learn that she is a psychopath with a propensity to kill men that get too close to her .
after the murders , she sobs while singing the christmas tune `little bluebirds’ and laments about being abandoned by her father long ago .
after each killing , she puts on a different wig , assumes a new name , and then makes her way to another state .
the eye has witnessed all her murderous transgressions .
but he does not alert the authorities .
he somehow empathizes with her sense of loss .
the eye , it turns out , also is haunted by his past .
his daughter was taken away from him and he anguishes this loss every day of his life .
his tormented psyche creates a ghost-like image of his daughter with which he engages in conversation .
she becomes a sort of spectral adviser , and one thing that the ghostly daughter says is that he must help the woman .
he now diverts his energies into trying to help her find some kind of salvation .
it doesn’t matter that he has witnessed all of her murders .
and it doesn’t matter that the eye is abnormally reticent , hiding his entire life behind computer screens .
he follows her to a dozen different locales and shadows her every move to keep her out of trouble .
when a crazed druggie ( jason priestley ) attacks her , he shows up for some quick butt kicking .
when the police are closing in to arrest her , he provides a distraction so that she can escape .
all the while , the woman has no idea who her guardian angel is and the eye stays just out of sight .
peculiar .
how bad is this movie ?
i refer you to my `review quote source’ litmus test .
just take a look at the full-page ad in the newspaper and see where they are pulling quotes .
for this movie , they are from magazines called `flaunt’ and `mirabella . ‘
no doubt , they were impressed with judd’s series of catwalks and disguise changes .
the major problem with `eye of the beholder’ is that the film jerks forward , always unsure of its ultimate destination .
if it was a thriller , there was little to keep us entranced .
if it was a love story , there was absolutely no emotional pull .
completely disjointed in structure , it’s only saving grace was its stylish look which reminded me of my favorite car commercial ( the one where the `6′ on the tachometer dissolves into a winding road and a passenger rail car dissolves into a small miniature on a child’s train set ) .
i am also still hopeful that ashley judd will find a serious role to showcase her potential talents .
beyond that , the film is hopelessly out-of-control and is in need of seriously better traction and handling .